3 ways to observe people without them noticing you
Saturday, February 23rd, 20081) Feet. The direction your feet are pointing in is super-important. Feet are a subconscious pointer of where your attention is going. Feet towards someone? They’re much more likely to feel you’re paying attention to them. Feet away from someone? You can focus on them a lot more and they’re much less likely to notice.
2) Heads. Whenever you need to stare at someone to capture their eye or lip movements, they’re much much less likely to notice you if someone is standing between you. It’s a human/animal thing. Even better, get the person between you’s head between your head and the head of the person you’re watching. Even better, get in a conversation with the person between you. At least, it helps to have an object like a shelf or a tree between your direct line of vision. Don’t stand TOO close to the shelf or tree or other person or it’s creepy. Gosh. Oh, and interesting exception: you can walk up right next to the person and since you’re super-close with your feet in another direction, they’re unlikely to notice you as observing them. Have a dual motive — something else you’re also paying attention to, as a reason for being so close. It’s a psychology thing.
3) Eyes. There’s usually no need to stare. A roving gaze, taking in a good view of whatever’s in front of you, usually does the trick. Unless you stand like Secret Service, no one’s likely to notice.
Bonus tip: Fixed-point. I was once taught a style of negotiation where you focus on a fixed point on the table in front of you and don’t look at anyone. Funny thing is, by absorbing in this way, I became far better at channeling everyone’s emotions and the dynamic in the room than usual, and was better at predicting the subtleties between my negotiation partners and the opposite team. We discussed everything at the end.
[Credits: Feet - Thanks to Mrs. Williams who taught me psychology at Horace Greeley High School. Fixed-point - thanks to Prof. Seth Freeman and his excellent MBA negotiation class at NYU's Stern School of Business ]
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