Influencing dolphins
Friday, May 9th, 2008Michael Neill’s Tip of the Day today is called “How to Win Games and Influence Dolphins.” Michael writes about positive reinforcement, drawing on dolphin trainer Karen Pryor’s book “Don’t Shoot the Dog.”
‘What makes human beings jump through hoops and exhibit entirely new behaviors never before seen in the species is the experience of “winning” - of succeeding at what it is we are setting out to do.’
‘”Winning” in the sense I am using it here is unique to the individual - it is anything that feels like success, be that the signature on an order form or the smile of approval of a loved one, boss, or friend.
You can increase your skill at recognizing wins by first identifying what games you (or the person you are trying to motivate) are playing. You can then work out what would constitute a win in each game.
For example if the game you are playing is selling a product or service, some possible wins include getting a hot lead, enrolling a new client, or making a sale. If you’re playing the weight loss game, those wins can include saying “no” to a piece of chocolate cake, knocking a few numbers off the scale, or fitting in to a new (or old!) item of clothing.’ -Michael Neill
This is why I think it’s so important to have a shared life dream in a personal relationship or at work. First identify what game you’re playing. Then decide how you’ll know when you ‘win’ or end up where you want. Agreeing with your partner means you’re playing the same game.