“My wife wants to have a kid,” he says, “but I don’t want kids.  I don’t have anything to offer a kid.  I don’t have much money.  I don’t have a job.  I’m unemployed.”
 
We’re sitting on a park bench in Union Square.  This guy is slumped over, his slack-jawed gaze going back to the last century.  

“Okay,” I say.  “What’s something in life that makes you go wow?”
 
“Music.”  He smiles a little, sits up straighter.

“And what’s important to you about music?”
 
“I play guitar real good.  I love that.  And I like singing, I do that real well.”

A flash of light — with energetic surprise, his eyes open wider, he relaxes — suddenly comes over his face.
 
“I could teach my kid to play guitar and sing.  I’m a good teacher, I could teach her lots of stuff.  And I’d take care of her real good.”

He turns and looks at his wife sitting at the other end of the bench.  He doesn’t say anything to her, yet.
 
He turns back and says to me softly, “Yeah.  I’d like to have a kid.” 

When people focus on actions they’re great at which also excite them, they discover their own ways to approach the world.

Last night, Michael and I were interviewed on “Sex, Love and Relationships,” a call-in show which airs across Indianapolis on WIBC 93.1 FM.

You can download and play the MP3 file here.  The clip takes a full minute to load and start.

The interview is 25 minutes.  We talked about Flash of the Blindingly Obvious and Exciting Strengths, two related techniques we’ve developed.

The previous post is a written version of Flash of the Blindingly Obvious.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.”

- wrote mountaineer W.H. Murray in The Scottish Himalayan Expedition.  Michael Neill quotes Murray and adds an important way to check-in with yourself:

“An authentic commitment is intrinsically generous - it is a gift you give yourself from the heart. The easiest way to tell the difference between a relectant and authentic commitment is how it feels in your body.

A reluctant commitment brings tension and strain; an authentic commitment brings with it a sense of ease, well-being, and energy.”

Yesterday I had a phone call with a friend.  We are working on a fun project together, but I was feeling hesitant and unsure about what I would say and do.  I wondered what my friend wanted to happen.  I wondered what we would do.  It was an upcoming situation that felt hard to me.  So I asked myself, “What’s something I’d like to get from this call that’ll make me go wow?” 

At first came an answer which was thought-out and uninspired.  “I’d like to get physical peace, fun and connection.”  These are my names for the three groups of my unique exciting strengths.  While my answer made sense, it was nothing new to me. 

How did I feel about getting physical peace, fun and connection?  I checked in with how I felt.  On a scale of 1-100, I gave it an 80.  When seeing how close my pointer finger moved to my heart, it only got to the other side of my chest — not very close.  I didn’t feel inspired yet.  I felt only “okay,” not yet super-wonderful.

So I asked myself again, “What’s something I’d like to get from this call that’ll make me go wow?”  This time a new priority came to me:  “to finish the current exercise we’re working on, and write it up.”  I rated that a 92.  Better.  I started to smile.

I remembered the musicians I’ve heard in my favorite jazz band, the Mingus Big Band.  During solos, the musicians will encourage each other while they play, to play passionate solos, to play their hearts out on the stage for all to hear, to play higher and higher notes if that is where they feel they’ll be extraordinary tonight.  ”Higher, man!  Higher, higher!  You can do it!  One more!  You got it!  Gimme again!  One more note!  Higher!  Oh baby!  Higher!” until we are all blown away with the brilliance and clarity of the voice of their music.

I tried it myself.  “Higher, man!  Higher!” and answered: “Higher?  I’d like to finish the exercise on this call in 45 minutes and then get a cappucino.”  How do I rate it?  On a scale from 1 to 100, it’s a 96!  My finger has crossed my chest, almost to my heart.  I’m grinning.

I could stop now, but, “You can do it!  One more!  You got it!  Gimme again!  One more note!  Higher!  Oh baby!  Higher!”  Now I feel great, and when the answer comes, “Higher?  I’d like to buy a cappucino now, and then do the exercise on the call!” I get a shiver.

It feels so right.  That shiver is what I get when something extraordinary hits me.  It could be a climax in a movie, or the feeling when a woman intimately touches my body.  It’s also when I hear an idea which I just know will lead to fantastic things when put into action.

My finger reaches my heart.  It actually, although it sounds incredible to be saying this, briefly brings tears to my eyes.  On a scale of 1 to 100, this is a 98. 

I ask myself, “What’s getting in the way of doing it?”  I find that I’ve already started preparing for the call, typing down notes for the call and later grabbing my jacket to head outside.  I answer, “Nothing’s getting in the way.” 

I’m committed.

Usually I tell people that Jelly is like a jam session, but jelly.  This Current TV segment gives more perspective. 

I’m quoted at 1 minute 50 seconds in.  Note to self: stop looking at the person I’m talking with, and start looking at their camera! 

Tony narrated the segment.  Amit, one of Jelly’s founders, also made an appearance. 

I’m glad that coworking is getting more press. 

Visit workatjelly.com for other press and to come to the next Jelly.  Visit coobric.com to learn about everyday coworking and to come by — we currently meet at Gramstand, a tea cafe on Avenue A and 13th Street in NYC’s East Village.